To Protect Your Marriage

Godly Marriages Require Intentionality


When work or ministry begs for more of our time, we can feel obligated to answer that call, but Jim Burns calls us to keep our marriages in their correct position of importance over life's other pulls. Jim is the President of HomeWord, a ministry to build up God-honoring families, and the author of Creating an Intimate Marriage. In this video he identifies several of the ways that we move our marriages to the backseat and shares how to reorient our focus to correctly honor that covenant.


Proverbs 10:9 (ESV)

9Whoever walks in integrity walks securely,

but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.


Make a list of all of your current weekly commitments. Include everything that you are scheduled to do or place where you are expected to be present on a regular basis. Next to each one, prayerfully consider and write down if it is helpful, neutral or detrimental to your marriage.
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Jim noted that trying to change your spouse is the wrong approach to working on your marriage. What are your personal areas of brokenness, the baggage you brought with you, that you can work on for the good of your relationship?
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What is your "infected tooth"? What do you need to totally remove from your marriage?
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Jim and his wife have 3 rules that govern their marriage.
  • They have a nonnegotiable date night
  • They only have appointments three nights a week
  • Kathy has veto power over his schedule

What two to four rules can you and your spouse adapt to keep your other obligations from taking precedence over your marriage?
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Refreshing and protecting your marriage is anchored in intentionality. Take what you have written and planned in this post and share it with your spouse. No matter the state of your marriage right now, be encouraged to grow it deeper and build it better with the Lord's help.