What Should I Look for in a Spouse?

Go Beyond Compatibility


Our culture tells us an ideal spouse is romantic, good looking, and interested in the same activities and hobbies as us. But is there something more we should be looking for in a spouse? What does God say about marriage? Winston Smith, counselor and faculty member for CCEF, challenges the typical idea of a perfect spouse with what God’s expectations are for marriage. He tells us to follow God’s wisdom in finding a spouse. 



Winston said marriage is less about compatibility and more about pursuing God’s vision for marriage. God designed marriage to be a window into Christ’s sacrificial love for the church.  

What is God’s goal for marriage? How does marriage model Christ’s love for the church?
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Winston said compatibility is important, but it’s not the only thing we should look for in a husband or wife. Why doesn’t compatibility take you far when looking for a spouse? What other are other attributes to look for in a spouse?
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What do you, personally, look for in a spouse? Do you only look for compatibility? What would someone who you can spur toward growth in Christ look like to you?
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Has your perspective on marriage or what to look for in a spouse changed? If so, how? What could you do this week to seek wisdom in your search of a husband or wife?
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Instead of basing your standard for a spouse on compatibility alone, look for someone who will encourage you to grow in Christ and who you can love and serve in the same way. Spend time in prayer and ask God to give you wisdom as you look for a spouse.  


This video is a publication of the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF). All content is protected by copyright and may not be reproduced in any manner without written permission from CCEF. For more information on classes, materials, speaking events, distance education and other services, please visit www.ccef.org